Saturday, February 16, 2013

Life Behind a Screen: The Hindering of Relationships in the Common World


                “If the only way one makes a contribution to the community’s good is through specialized application of a professional skill, one gets lonely. The company of family and friends remains important. While mobile professionals in the United States do indeed engage themselves in complicated networks of intimate relationships, these networks are often not tied to a particular place. One may maintain close friendships with a host of people scattered all across the country.”

                In the above quote from  Bellah’s  Habits of the Heart, Bellah’s seen reflecting on the mobile lifestyle of humans today in which small town lifestyle enclaves have transformed into finding virtue and acceptance by obtaining different values and styles of life as friends. When taking Bellah’s perspective into consideration and reflecting upon Facebook, one can see directly the social changes of our modern world via technology, directly influencing the world in which we live.  The art of solitude and relationship building amongst the common social good has unswervingly altered as a result of Facebook and other modern technological networks and devices from Twitter to the iphone.

                Sherry Turkle’s, “Connected but Alone” video portrays how  living a Facebook life, or a life behind a screen, has changed the social mentalities and tendencies amongst many human beings today as seen within the clip below.


                As human beings, she pointed out one of the key things we need consists of a feeling of a sense of control over where we focus our attention. But often times one has a hard time with this, because he or she only wants to pay attention to the things that interest them and that they can maintain. This often times affects one’s ability to communicate with another person face to face. Facebook allows the average human being to surf the web, search for a new friend they danced with at a party last night, and then proceed to discover where that person is from, what their religion preference is, find out whether or not they are single, and to potentially even obtain their phone number if he or she has it listed and readily available before they even have a physical conversation. Why talk to one of the people below face to face, when you could be a click away from knowing anything you might have ever needed to discover about them?
 
Picture: Taken from http://www.danpontefract.com/i-unfriended-you-on-facebook-are-we-still-friends/ a blog on the effects of what it means when you defriend someone on Facebook.

                Today, the art of relationship building has been especially lost as people do not know how to have a direct conversation with one another. Our capacity for self-reflection is being destroyed as today humans would rather text versus talk to each other face to face. Why has the world become so lonely and afraid of intimacy with each other?

                Humans use mobile devices to send a text or an inbox message because they feel the need to have complete control over what they can say, versus the possibility of saying something they might regret or can’t take back when someone is there in the flesh, face to face right in front of them. Humans seek the attention of people to be there to listen to them or show empathy towards them as they lose confidence believing they are alone when no one is paying attention to their life.

                Surfing the web and perusing the Facebooks of others allows one to experience the lives of their so called friends, who are seen to provide the empathy and support fort he or she is looking for as a whole.  These items of technology like Facebook and other social networks or even the iPhone, destruct the art of solitude which helps a person reflect upon who they are as an individual, disallowing them to learn from his or her mistakes, and above all to know how to think for themselves. Facebook connects one to the outside world virtually, leading one to believe they are physically never alone. It takes away one’s anxiety, and causes them to believe they are connected with those around them without even leaving the room.

                 However this does not solve the walls and barriers human beings are creating all around themselves on Facebook and in daily life. By continually sharing how we feel and what our constant thoughts are we grow to need to have the empathy and attention of others around us to prove that we are indeed not alone. This is awful because today, humans are finding virtue and acceptance via online comments and conversations they have with another person. Satisfaction is coming from having a talk with someone over the internet in short remarks that eventually accumulate into a rather large chat versus from an actual face to face conversation of speaking to one another. Ten minutes after a Facebook chat, two people could be in the same room and fail to speak one word to each other as the social, physical barrier has not yet been broken between them although they might know each other’s life story and interests by the glance over of a page.

                I find it rather ridiculous and pathetic that a child these days may grow up without the ability to have the necessary communication and personable skills needed to talk to a human being face to face because they rely on having the professional skills and overarching control of technology to utilize the ability to hide behind a screen with editing possibility to make sure each conversation states exactly what they want to say; versus, potentially saying something that they could be judged upon or that could be taken the wrong way. As humans if we hide behind a screen or take value in a conversation not face to face with another person, we lose the possibility of permanent happiness with the physical real life relationship with another human; rather we take comfort in the short term satisfaction granted from text messages and conversations online that merely show another person might be thinking about you or checked out your Facebook page.

              Although life feelings and emotions have the potential to be controlled from behind a computer screen, these social networks will never build the personal satisfaction that a real life physical relationship could from the small town lifestyle enclaves humans used to have in the past.

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